Remember when you were a kid, and your birthday meant a day full of celebrations and special treats? Cupcakes in class, birthday punches from your friends, your locker decorated by your girls?
Being a grown up means none of that. Being a grownup means you don't get a day off from work (yes I'll be at work for 10 hours, seeing 11 clients) and you don't get to dress down, as daughter will be able to next week on her birthday (few things excite her as much as not having to wear her uniform to school - not that I blame her). It's not all bad, though. Being a grownup does mean that I can choose to sleep in before work, treat myself to Starbucks, and skip the laundry for a day. I'll take my little presents where I can get them, thank you very much.
I do also get a trip to Citifield for Autism Awareness Day. First game for us of the year! Could I ask the Mets to give me a win? PLEASE??? One 8 game win streak does not a winning season make, guys.
So as I tend to do every year, now is the time I look back on my 40+ years (not that many +'s, mind you) and see where I stand with myself. You know - the regrets, the accomplishments, etc. Sort of a yearly performance review. This year I'll do it here, to give my hubby more ammunition to make fun of me with!
Added to the crows feet around eyes - check
Grey hair multiplying - check
Added some interesting medical diagnoses to list already in progress - check
It's OK, I've earned it all...
So much for the physical achievements! Onto the professional...
Learned that the requirements for the state certification I worked so hard for 15 years ago (not to mention the very difficult, expensive master's degree I needed to obtain) have changed. I am no longer able to practice independently, and must be appropriately supervised. So I go from being the supervisor at my last position to the supervisee at current one. Thank you, NYS Board! I can't wait to work another two years, making little money, then take another certification test. Not that it's all bad, I love my current job and my supervisors are among the best in the field, as well as great to work with. So it's all good. Really.
Watching my baby brother, who entered my field in part because of me, far surpass me professionally and be well on his way to the doctorate I always wanted so badly. And being surprised to realize I am nothing but proud of him, and am OK with the choices I made - having a family - which kept me from doing the same.
Learning that it's OK to ditch a job where respect, fair pay and reasonable responsibilities are not in the employee's handbook.
And how about some personal growth!
Does this happen after age 40? My professional knowledge and personal experience says yes. So I am now at the point on my life where I can be open to new friendships (including some blogger/twitter ones!) and can better appreciate and participate in old ones. I can also appreciate where I am now, and can congratulate myself on being a survivor - of raising a profoundly disabled child, of living with and loving a law enforcement officer during some of the most horrible times in this city's history, of watching someone you love dearly battle cancer twice, and of losing a parent, close friends, and my youth. I have become an activist, a fundraiser and a parent of a teenager (I think the parenting a teen thing is the hardest!). I am a role model and a concerned citizen, a writer and a student. Wow.
And yet, sometimes I still wonder what I'm gonna be when I grow up...
Oh, and I can't forget - I am a Mets survivor, too. They haven't killed me yet, and my fandom is hanging tough.
Onto the next year - wonder what this one will bring?!?
